Each May, during Mental Health Awareness Month, we are reminded of the importance of mental well-being for people of all ages and backgrounds. It’s a time to promote understanding, compassion, and support for those facing mental health challenges. For children with autism, this conversation is especially crucial because for many, the clearest window into their inner world isn’t words, but behavior.
Imagine feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or frustrated and not having the words to explain what’s going on inside. That’s the reality for many children on the autism spectrum. They may not yet have the tools to express themselves with language, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t communicating. Instead, their behavior becomes their voice.
A child who throws a toy across the room may not be “acting out” in the traditional sense—they may be saying, “This is too hard for me,” or “I need help.” A child who withdraws or avoids eye contact might be overwhelmed by sensory input, stress, or confusion. Even a child who smiles and flaps their hands when excited is communicating, just in a way that’s different from neurotypical expectations.
Understanding this foundational truth—that behavior is communication—is not only key to supporting children with autism, but essential to nurturing their emotional and developmental growth.
When behaviors are misunderstood, children can be mislabeled as “difficult,” “defiant,” or “disruptive.” These misconceptions can lead to missed opportunities for connection, support, and teaching. But when we take a step back and ask why a behavior is happening, we unlock the potential to build meaningful, supportive strategies that help children thrive.
This approach shifts the focus from controlling behavior to understanding and empowering the individual. Rather than simply reacting to a tantrum or shutdown, caregivers and professionals can begin asking:
Once the “why” is clear, we can begin to offer tools that are more effective—and more compassionate—than any consequence or redirection.
This is where Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy plays a pivotal role. ABA attempts to understand what the child is trying to communicate through their behavior. While being compassionate toward what the child is trying to express through their behavior, ABA therapists can find ways to help the child use safer and more effective behaviors while also enhancing their expressive communication skills.
Some of the areas that ABA therapists can help with include:
Let’s take the example of a child who hits when they’re told “no.” That action might be a sign of intense frustration or anxiety at not being able to get access to something they want. ABA therapy doesn’t just simply just try to reduce the hitting; Instead, ABA aims to understand its purpose and teach a replacement behavior. Perhaps the child can be taught to say or sign “I’m mad,” or to take a deep breath and ask for a break. They might aso be taught to learn coping skills for being able to improve their tolerance for waiting to get something they want.
Over time, the child learns that there are other, more effective ways to communicate their needs and emotions. This not only improves behavior but it builds trust, boosts self-esteem, and helps the child feel seen and understood.
ABA is tailored to the child’s unique needs, strengths, and challenges. It meets the child where they are and grows with them. The goal is not to make a child “fit in,” but to help them feel safe, capable, and empowered, and to help them improve their quality of life both in the present and in the future.
Too often, we separate mental health and behavior support as if they are unrelated. But for children with autism, the connection between behavior and mental health is direct and profound.
When a child is unable to communicate their distress, anxiety can build. When they’re repeatedly misunderstood or punished for trying to express themselves, frustration and fear grow. But when those same children are taught to recognize their emotions, regulate them, and ask for help, they gain not just communication skills—they gain resilience, emotional regulation skills, stress management, connection with others, and so much more. These new skills that are developed through ABA play a major role in supporting the individual’s mental health and overall well-being.
As we close out Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s continue to challenge outdated perceptions. Let’s move away from viewing behavior as something to “fix” and instead embrace it as something to understand.
When we see behavior as communication, we become better parents, teachers, therapists, and allies. We pause before reacting. We get curious. We listen—not just with our ears, but with our hearts.
And most importantly, we remember that every child wants to connect. Every child wants to be understood. Some just need a little more support to find their voice.
As we honor Mental Health Awareness Month, let us commit to shining a light on the emotional lives of children with autism. ABA isn’t just about changing behavior; It is so much more. ABA can support the child’s mental health, as well.
